A Familiar Feeling, Revisited

In December 2019, I wrote about attending the Lean Higher Education International Conference at the University of Michigan. I was new in my role as Change and Opportunity Lead with the Office of the Vice-Provost, Students at Ryerson University. The conference brought back the excitement I had felt in 2013 at my first OneStop conference. I ended that post with a question: how long would it be before I moved from learner to leader in Lean?

The answer is (apparently) seven years. In October 2026, I chaired the organizing committee for Lean into the Challenge, the Lean HE 2026 virtual global conference. The 2019 question assumed that learning gives way to leadership. Chairing the conference required as much learning as my first Lean HE conference did, and in less comfortable ways.

The 24-hour format, a volunteer team spread across continents and AI tools for planning and scheduling were all new to me. Lean asks practitioners to run small experiments, learn from the results and adjust. Teaching that principle is easier than applying it to my own leadership. Experience did not remove the discomfort of trying something new. It made the discomfort more visible, because a team takes its cue from how its leader responds to uncertainty.

The conference succeeded because others also stepped into an untested format. Session hosts gave up early mornings and late evenings. Presenters shared unfinished work and lessons from failure. Participants joined from around the world and built community in a virtual space.

In 2019, I challenged you to think about the last time you were a learner. This time, I challenge you to name the last time you led through something new.

Setting intention in 2022

In 2021 my intention for the year was ‘joy’. I used it to inform my choices and decisions over the course of year and attempted to not revert to overthinking everything (as I do). Heading into the last few weeks of the year I felt that maybe joy needed to stick around for another year. That was until on Christmas day my best friend (who we affectionately joke about sharing a brain) shared a social media post that’s still taking up space.

Whitney Goodman, LMFT (@thebraincoach on Instagram) posted a series of statements related to ‘avoiding our emotions and distress by keeping busy may provide temporary relief but it doesn’t address the root of the problem’. 2021 was a year of tremendous change for me. In addition to working through a separation and navigating a new co-parenting schedule, I took on a signficant professional role on an interim basis. Without losing sight of my desire for joy, could I leave room for taking care of my mind and body?

So while I haven’t thought of a word that easily summarizes my intention for 2022, my intention is make space for sitting with some of the larger feelings I’ve had and prioritizing my mind and body. It means that instead of adding more to my life, I am going to spend time working on what is holding me back from being better.

COVID's impact on confidence

Staring at the twelfth month of working from home and I have to say, I’m struggling. More than once I’ve sat down to write this post but I just couldn’t bring the words to the surface. I’ve even started this blog post more than once but have never felt like I could craft a message clear enough for public consumption. I’ve decided to do it anyway.

The articles said we would be more productive from home. We wouldn’t be distracted, we’d save money on lunches, we would regain all sort of time from cancelling our commute. All sounding too good to be true. Even as an introvert I’ve missed the catch-ups. The walk to a meeting where you solved more problems than in the meeting itself. The check-in when your body language projected ‘I’m overwhelmed’ and people offered support.

All of this time alone has my confidence in a fragile state. I’ve questioned my contributions and my value when I haven’t felt needed in the same way. I recognize how much of my confidence is rooted in those casual requests for help or impromptu problem solving sessions. I couldn’t identify what exactly I was missing but I participated in a webinar a few weeks ago, I pretty quickly had clarity when I realized that people wanting to listen to my contributions was filling a hole that has existed for some time.

Helping people identify a problem, and working collaboratively towards resolutions is what fuels my confidence. Solving those problems on my own isn’t enough.

Be kind to yourself and find the thing that fuels your confidence!